colors of the sun

saddd sadd song

QUOTE OF THE DAYIn oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.


well..today im being more depressed than anyother day (anyother not so depressed day )...im havin this really
nauseous feel at the pit of my heart..or was that the lungs.. sumtimes i wonder if god really gave me this heart to love or to get hurt ... or prolly both.. only this is that my heart jus dun noe if sumthin is right or wrong..can i say my heart is stupid? (maybe that line was stupid on its own)anyway.. im jus feelin sooo sick.. and i havent even had lunch.. if i was normal i wud have stuffed my self up by now.. time says 6.03 in my compscreen... i got this 1500 word report to write.. 2more assignments to type.. but my brain jus doesnt seem to be constant... im rather helpless.. or maybe i shld say relentless to people...have i done sumthin so wrong dat i cant even feel sumthin? let it be right or wrong!..i dun noe..i really dun noe..my head says " forget love" but my heart says sumthin else...which EVEN I CANT seem to figure out... i think noone really can understand wat im goin through however close they seem to be ....i try my level best to figure out pple and act to their likes..but sumtimes i jus fail to do dat to myself .. act to my likes for once.. years ago.. i used to be selfish ,duncare attitude u noe.. someone opposite of me rite now.. but .. really at the end of the day..wat is it dats important?.. when i was selfish and not bothered .. i was much happier.. now i feel dat.. when i do "have" wat i want..im still not feelin dat way dat i used to feel.. its like.. everyone lookin down at me and i feel like im dressed up as a joker ..only thing is this time im not laughin with everyoneelse.. perhaps i shld look into myself and see wat i really want .. what I want!...isst wrong to be selfish? isst wrong to be happy and be self-content ..isst wrong to FEEL and not be bothered if it was right or wrong?

sometimes i wonder... when pple say life is a whole lotta funland... u jus need to know how to handle it?.. but realli IM SURE the whole lott who say dat life is easy.. i bet they have sumthin hidin inside dats dark and not to be mentioned...especially like for instance...
someone who goes arnd sayin life isnt so bad as u think it is.. they'll proly be havin lotta regrets and bitterness in them .. they jus wanna hide it...wats the point in all this...

dare i say life = mixed feelings ? so.. basically life is wat u feel.. whether ure happy ure sad..ure angry.. dats life innit?... sum pple can take things lite and be off like a butterfly while some put on a mask coverin the dark shadows in their lives..

i sit at the center of my stage ,
playin the part of the jester,
the audience only see the laughter and joy ,
never the pain or the cry ,
i never got to experience glee,
as i tearfully act my way with a merry pace,
with lively beats i recite my sad sad song,
and my gullible spectators jus singing along

Posted by Sshree at 5:38 PM