colors of the sun

confused

im in india.. dreadin each day..wat i thought was an escape of reality .. its not there nemore..
everything is sooo messed up..every plan gone wrong..my dad got "SICK"
and every plan of goin wherever exotic.. it only reaches to e hospital if u want EXOTIC..AND watelse..i saw a dead body goin to be cremated..went to dis temple.. dey had an elephant me got d blessings frm her/him... den.. i got to see HUNDREDS of peacocks on sum lost world kinda village,,anyway.. i miss bloggin.. my dad got heart pain a week after i got to india..
so basically my main part of my holiday got messed up.. woohoo!
-typed on sept 30
ive realised one thing .. im not matured enuff for a serious relationships..and its jus too complicating.. and e fact dat IM already complicatin on my own doesnt make e situation better..pple think im cheatin jus cos i didnt tell them how i felt earlier.. when i didnt even noe wat i was feelin how can i jeopardize my relationship for sum confused feelings(which im very capable of ). im jus reallly reallly agitated..upset..and MAD at e same time.. its like this... u go to a temple and u pray for 30 days..and by e end of e month u dun get ure wish granted u take it as e thing is fake?? watever..I CANT make my self feel a certain way.. if i feel somethin its who i am.. if im a bitch to u.. so be it. i dun live to satisfy u i live to satisfy myself.

Posted by Sshree at 10:26 PM