mental disorder
i actualy typed out a loooong looong post yesterday stupid blogger messed it .yyyyyyyyyyy!!!now i have to think back and type all out again
i miss my mom's and my patti's cooking
i went for this drama thing i recently got hooked up with.its wicked.totally hilarious things.wish i cud say more.i did on my loong post which got virtually destroyed.anyway ya e drama thing it was fun.im the naataamai's keep.wat the hell was i thinking sayin yes to this.
my reputation is goina go down the drain. prayin to god dat it doesnt do dat much damage. but wat the heck its acting.
he called.the other he.shyte!i think too many "he"s.well the paithiyam *nut* he .he called and i asked why he called and he was like do i need a reason to call n im like no..but u prolly were drunk dat u actually called or ure ego wuddnt have allowed dat.or either u forgot dat we werent supposed to be talking .blah.i missed him though.he has this hauntingly adorabble laugh which makes me go INSANE.i think he wooed me with dat stupid laugh.god i missed dat.im fooling myself in certain issues but i jus cant damn it admit it at times.
apparently my whole school friends know abt the modelling thing now.and i sound like a dumbass fool .hey shakthi.miss wacko.*smile* .now i know THREE kug/hans in my life. and i remember i was crazy abt dat name years ago dat i actually wanted to name one of my future kids wit dat name. i dont think i do anymore.realised too common. but yea it is a nice name.
CANT wait to watch HITCH movie.feelin kinda relaxed.LOVIN dat "Candy shop"track by 50 cent n olivia. *smiles* i always end up havin a conversation abt chocolates or candy at one point.i think i need chocolate to be sane.
reality check:TRaumatized with cars for sometime now.im not goina take information management course.im switching cuz its a biatch.i will have to be admitted at IMH *institute of mental health* if i did continue dat subject.im going to take it slow with my subjects cus i cant seem to handle it with 4 subjects within 3 months.not workin.ive been having a major mental break down for the past coupla weeks,dat i didnt even attend alotta lessons.but yea im clear now. jus need to have a cryoutloud moment soon.
oh yea im findin it better to type out my feelings these days than writing on my diary.especially cus my hands seem to respond better to typing .e fact dat pple i know and dont know are gettin my thoughts dont bother me.actually it kinda does but i dont care.have to cover up the essential details n i'll be okay.havin really hard time writing proper when ure emotions are runnin crazy.and two weeks after i cant even read what i wrote on the diary.damn i need to burn my older diaries.too much confidential info for anyone to find out. but then again its always kinda makes u stronger when u reminisce abt e harsher days.
QUIZ Result:
Posted by Sshree at 11:34 AM
A Living Furnace!
THATS exactly wat i'd call this stupid weather.. THE AIR quality is like friggiN BAD i mean i practically saw haze everywhere at 2 PM!! the weather was so friggin humid ,hot and i cud SEE dat the air was sooo dusty and i had quite a time trying to BREATHE FRESH AIR.. its cloudy and dark rite now raining.. and all.. its kinda cooling down a bit.. but i mean MOTHER NATURE make up ure mind...dun go wacko on us..lol i mean u noe i didnt need my airconditioner until now.. i cant even sleep proper these days!! argh.. aside from that one of my class mates asked me if i was interested in playing a role in a drama thing.. i got excited since ive never done theatrical performances before..and its been like 4 years already since i went on stage.i miss performing dat i immediately said yes.. its kinda fun i went for two rehearsals.. its super hilarious script im the nattamai's keep ..haha.. dun ask.
Posted by Sshree at 4:30 PM
dangerously in love wit you
I am in love with you (in love)You set me freeI can't do this thing called life without you here with meCause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)I'll never leaveJust keep loving me the way I love you loving mesigh everyone probably thinks i have a split personality or sumthing..but somethings jus cant be shared with everyone ..but then again who cares right!*laughs*
i saw this movie recently ..i heard of it earlier and always wanted to watch it but i jus recently got to watch it .. its the angelina jolie flick -life or something like that..it felt so appropriate.i think i have mixed up with wats important in life and wats not. and i realised something too..being Selfish is human ..being selfless is god..so shld i try to be god or shld i jus be human?
hehe read this i jus stumbled across on the wonderful web which i think is rather amusing and plain cute..i might actually try it
:
"When I was a child, everyone around me cussed. A lot. I reacted against this; I didn't cuss at all until I was well into my thirties. One of the things I substituted for cussing was old-fashioned "cussing" - fiddlesticks and fiddle-dee-dee, bosh and balderdash. People are startled by such uncommon words, when they have long since become numb to more common cussing-out. Another substitute was sheer nonsense, like,"Ratsnitz fershlugginer fahrenheit brondstadt!"
Then there was the inventive use of English. "You pullulating excrudescence of obstreperous obfuscation!" is, to me, a far more satisfying description of a frustrating bureaucrat than "F*cker!" Using big long luscious words is sheer fun, whether done as inventive cussing, comic dialogue, or purple prose.
I once wrote a parody of a certain spoken-word poetry style that uses repetition - a lot, over and over again, with a little too much redundancy. As a playful break, in the middle, I inserted:
Concupiscient corruption of conspicuous consumption
Consumptive concupiscience of corrupted conspicuousness
Corrupted consumption of conspicuous concupiscience
Playing with words again. It's addictive fun -- you can get quite giddy with it."
Posted by Sshree at 11:14 PM
:::CautioN:::
note to self:
girl i think u shld reallly THINK next time u actually think of a guy. i swear i dont think u want another jerk dealin with you.and we all know u get serious with e guy u start to like.. asusual u always end up hurt.. jus THINK for fuckin sake.. SMACK urself ..spit at ureself.. watever man jus THINK .. fuck u think the stupidest stuff but u dont think abt the real deal..WAT is fucking wrong wit u woman!..u have to set things straight .. NO dick is goina make u feel low.. NO bitch is goina mess wit u too!!.. jus remember dat!! i mean comeon!!YOu have to think about alot of stuff now.. the next time u trust a muthaf***ka is the time ure diggin ure own grave ma!For once you aint a joke.. dun laugh wit them eitha.. fuckin assholes jus tryina get at u cuz ure too GUd sista.. keep dat in ure head... jus cos u keep ure life as an open book dont mean dey can fuckin deal wit u .. jus be ureself and jus MESS up any asshole who make u feel otherwise. and You gotta fuckin trust only ureself ma.. NObody goina pay for ure ass ever,jus rememba dat..dun eva forget dat
Posted by Sshree at 1:15 AM
the heavens opening up... i see heaven in your eyes.. i see god within your heart i see innocence in your smile and i see divinity in you and within myself
Posted by Sshree at 1:50 AM
catty talk
languages i want to learn before i die:Bengali (i want to feel what ravindranath tagore actually means with his poems)Hindi(i do understand a 1/4 but yea i want to speak it too)French(Talk to my purusha in dat language when im.. *blush*)Latin (i jus like the way it sounds)i miss him so much.. u noe theres always some problem in every love story..i jus hope i can withstand this one because even though hes a loosu kirukku paiya.. i jus i think hes the only kirrukku i can not get enuff off..im begining to see love as a pathway to my to life..and not life itself..im begining to see my education as a pathway to my career ...okie here is a crazy and dangerous question how can one person miss someone even if they are with u right there?
bah..everyday loosing another piece of my insanity.. oh yea check this out i read this off a site.. i loved it
Edward Field(1967)
It sometimes happens
that the woman you meet and fall in love with
is of that strange Transylvanian people
with an affinity for cats.
You take her to a restuarant, say, or a show,
on an ordinary date, being attracted
by the glitter in her slitty eyes and her catlike walk,
and afterwards of course you take her in your arms
and she turns into a black panther
and bites you to death.
Or perhaps you are saved in the nick of time
and she is tormented by the knowledge of her tendency:
That she daren't hug a man
unless she wants to risk clawing him up.
This puts you both in a difficult position--
panting lovers who are prevented from touching
not by bars but by circumstance:
You have terrible fights and say cruel things
for having the hots does not give you a sweet temper.
One night you are walking down a dark street
And hear the pad-pad of a panther following you,
but when you turn around there are only shadows,
or perhaps one shadow too many.
You approach, calling, "Who's there?"
and it leaps on you.
Luckily you have brought along your sword
and you stab it to death.
And before your eyes it turns into the woman you love,
her breast impaled on your sword,
her mouth dribbling blood saying she loved you
but couldn't help her tendency.
So death released her from the curse at last,
and you knew from the angelic smile on her dead face
that in spite of a life the devil owned,
love had won, and heaven pardoned her.
some notes on my life - shld never put wat i think 100% on my blog- share the same qualities * character as cat woman /cats....- should talk in proper english without using URE for your and wit for with- need to secure my financial matters asap ie:get a job,get my school done,be on my own,-since u were a girl you wanted to be a princess ,if your becoming a woman start thinking of becoming queen ie:Rule instead of drooling of power-I KNOW my ass is fyne so STFU- still havent gotten my NAME changed legally yet..-get back to your hyper self .. dont you miss dat already?REMEMBER:women and cats will do as they please,dogs and men had better get used to it
Posted by Sshree at 2:24 PM
Heartistic day
You noe wat annoys me soooo MUCH those SMS things.. I SWEAR to GOD im going crazy..i think probably i got like 200 msgs by now.. and its clogging up my hotmail space!!! CURSE u SMS program!!!!!!!IM not falling for you!!!
oh ya im supposed to head to THREE immigration offices today..and i woke up LATE!!!HECK I have to go malaysia this week end AND I DUN HAVE dat visa things for dat!!!!ishwara ishwara...i need to be kicked
Heartistic day.....
feb 14 2005 ...it was a pretty interesting day for me.. i didnt really feed any of those consumer thriving companies...but i did help BK though..lol yea..anyway i had to go downtown to get sum things done.. the agency...Rekha was leaving for australia too...:( i miss her..i guess u dont knw wat u'll be missing until its gone eh?!
yaaru innimael ennaku oothu kudupa?!!lol
oh well
she'll be back soon.. even though i wasnt THAT close wit her..she was a pretty sweet kid.. all dem nights at cheekies.. all dem thillu mulluz..hahahaa :) goina miss dat for some time .. but yea.. we were at the airport at arnd 6 and stayed dere until like 8 30 9... and had our dinner there too..and came back..IM getting addicted to dat idiot!!my purusha lol
Posted by Sshree at 8:49 AM
TOMMY.. i hope god is taking care of u well now.. im sorry chellam.. i didnt play with u enuff when i left for singpore... to lose something u valued and had a special spot in ure heart..is soo heartaching.. i valued this dog more than any human ive ever encountered the only soul dat actually was loyal and trustworthy ...i miss him already.. aiyooooo I WAS jus talking abt him earlier to someone! FUCK WHY is everything i love taken away from me??..I HOPE the one thing i have rite now dont go aswell..:( ...A dog u might think isnt worth crying over or watever.. but that is like the only animal or living thing dat can be trusted with ure life....when i was in india he was like sooo jealous cos i always played with the neighbour's puppy ..i feel soooooo badd rite now.. RIP TOMMy chellam
Posted by Sshree at 9:28 PM
about to be cracked
jus the current situation.. is gettin more and more deep..but when i think hes the one...dats when theres a twist to the story.. aiyoo aiyoo aiyoo...im goina try cooking thai cuisine ... make some of that yummy tom yam soup and red curry myself... hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
Posted by Sshree at 10:40 AM
moma please
momma please come back..
your baby is sad
momma please dont leave me
i jus want you by my side..
i hear all my friends say all the nice things their mothers do for them...
please dont go.
i dont need a bandaid for my wounds,all i want is ure warmth dat i had
in your womb
momma please do stay ...
i jus cant face this world without u behind me
momma please be with me..
im scared of things without you sayin its goina be alright
Mommaaaa.... if you must;please jus hold me once and leave
i 'll try to live with that for the rest of my days
Posted by Sshree at 1:36 AM
Some images dat captured me
-----shree ramajeyam----
Posted by Sshree at 1:27 AM
IF U HEARD of eyes dat cud speak.. this is it
Posted by Sshree at 12:34 AM
shes jus got the MAGNETIC EYES... beautifull..
Posted by Sshree at 12:29 AM
finally
first off..ive not really been updatin dis thing for coupla days due to UNFORtunate circumstances.....secondly....immm SOOOOooo bummmed.. ive yet to start my revision..and im SO so dead.. des said hes goina change his course cos he failed his subjects..and wants to do the project -oriented course.. now im thinking wat i shld do...cos des is wayy better in studies dan i am..and its gettin me worried..so yea..e advantage for the other course is dat i get to finish early..which is good.. i get to meet U Noe.. yea..and i miss my mom..:( eevryone askin when shes commin back.. and i keep tellin them this month.. next month ..a month after dat. there was once this astrologer told us dat for my family everyone shld be in diff countries for my family line to be smooth??Wtf rite.i mean how is ure family supposed to be closer when ure countries apart?im jus sick of it ..sometimes i jus think why do i even have to live through all this..well there must be a reason for everything rite?... well im still searchin for dat reason...IF i dont find that reason..i might have to have a serious talk with God up dere chillin in the big white light region..haha..dat was corny..oh well.. .. for the past two days ive been hangin wit reks n crew lol ya.. dat bitch is goin away to aussieland and IM goina MISS HER!!!! :( so we partied hard for the past two days hahaha..kinda like a goodbye n allthebest party-one was at her place (her mom made A KILLA nethili sambol!!!!)n one was at cheekies..I SWEAR i hate dat place.. i meant cheekies...i think its doin well only because pple are forced to go there by their friends..!!! the weird ones who think dat place is cool..lol ..i think not..ahhh but it was fun time hanging with everyone..oh ya that granny called frm malaysia two days ago...askin how we were and stuff..
*note to self: get a data cable soon*
Posted by Sshree at 1:08 PM
the equation uncovered?
my thoughts seem to have elevated up a notch with another level of maturity
and im begining to see the whole picture...
life jus is jus a long series of surprising events..
im learning to accept that...
anything is possible within one sec..
one moment you can be the happiest person alive
a second later you can feel dejected
so if life is so unpredictable..and is going to stay that way until you die..
why am i looking for lifes answers?
if theres a equation for life it wud possibly be like this
X -you aka life
Y-event
T-emotions
Z-end result
X to the power of Y /T=Z-(X to the power of Y)
to justify my theory..
X is controlled by e power of Y(cos every time its more problematic as before)which is divided by T (when u react to the events) so this all comes to only one product which is DEATH thus = Z ...so since u die and theres nothing more to ure life u minus off watever happened during ure life ....
so basically wat im trying to prove is.. when u die.. ITS still ZILCH.. .so why get worked up over how troubled u are.. interesting eh :)
Posted by Sshree at 11:37 AM
